Lack of Courage
by tminuslucas
Summary: He finds her beautiful, but his self-esteem leaves him unsure of whether or not to vocalize how he feels. BB/Rae One-shot


Writer's note: Hey there everyone! I haven't written a story in about 6 years, so this is my first real story since then. I'd appreciate some good critiques.

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She wasn't like anything he'd ever seen. She always knew how to take his breath away without even trying. She walks like an angel, with her dark blue cloak gliding gracefully behind her. Her indigo eyes sparkle whenever the light hits them, and all he ever wanted to do was stare into them forever.

But he couldn't, he wouldn't. He was afraid he'd never get the chance to do it, at least not without coming off like a total dweeb. He was this lanky green freak, and she was this gorgeous and perfect woman. Even if she didn't mind how weird he looked, even if she saw him for only the content of his character, she would never like him as more than a friend.

It was a lovely Saturday afternoon, and the Teen Titans were all sharing some pizza that Cyborg, a tall half-robot half-man and Beast Boy's best friend, had brought home. Beast Boy was a short green changeling. The other Titans were Starfire, the strong and beautiful alien, Robin, the black-haired acrobat, and Raven, the mysterious woman hidden behind a cloak.

"Alright y'all," Cyborg began, opening up one of the pizza boxes, "We got pepperoni, extra cheese, and…whateva Beast Boy ordered." And he pointed to the vegetarian lovers with sheer disgust. If anything, Cyborg was ninety-percent carnivore and despised everything even remotely vegetable-like.

Beast Boy grimaced and grabbed his pizza box, opening it and swiftly grabbing a slice. Everybody else seemed to want the extra-cheese, save for Cyborg who was often too greedy to share his pepperoni.

"Thanks Cyborg," Robin started, "Glad someone decided to bring home something. The fridge seems to be filled with mold again."

And it was true. The fridge was often filled with a strange blue mold. Perhaps from some of Starfire's strange alien cooking, or perhaps from the mounds of leftovers the young roommates often forget about.

"Yeah... Whose turn was it to clean the refrigerator again?" Raven stated drying. She peered over at Beast Boy, implying that it was his turn, but being the lazy and forgetful person that he was, had not done so in who knows how long.

Beast Boy let out a goofy chuckle and smiled at her, "Heh, guess I'll have to do that soon, huh?"

Raven was always the one Beast Boy had on his mind. He would occasionally steal a glance or two whenever he had the chance, and if she ever caught him he always played it off with a goofy joke or a nervous laugh.

And it was almost like he never noticed anyone else when she was around. She was so beautiful, so…perfect. Up until a couple of months ago he would never have given her a second thought, but recently he had begun to look at her differently. It had almost become a strange obsession. And he noticed that she had also begun to pay more attention to him as well. Ever since she had saved the Earth from her evil father, she had been able to show her emotions more freely. Of course her emotions were still shown very seldom and it was usually just anger and annoyance that she showed.

He wondered now that since she was not under the fear of his control, if she would be more open to affection. He – after all – loved to give his friends hugs, and, well they _were_ friends. Even if he felt so strongly towards her, he could perhaps play off his affection as friendly?

As all these thoughts played through his head, his friends munched away on their lunch and held a conversation. He was not sure what they were even talking about, but he didn't much care. Someone must have noticed him lost in thought, because he snapped back into reality with a loud "_Beast Boy_" and a nudge.

"Beast Boy, you are, alright?" Starfire asked curiously. Beast Boy blinked a few times as he looked over at his friends, who were all staring at him with great concern. "Uh…uh," he stuttered, and his eyes were then locked with Ravens, making his mind became completely blank.

Those eyes. Those beautiful eyes…No, he should not be staring. Wait, how long had he been staring at Raven anyways? Beast Boy let out a cough, "I'm uh, I'm cool. I'm just…tired. Yeah, that's it. I'm gonna go chill in my room, guys." And he stood up, leaving his half-eaten pizza on the table and rushing off before any of his friends could say anything.

The Titans all exchanged glances, unsure of what had just happened.

As Beast Boy walked the halls he ran his fingers through his hair. He had never acted so foolish before, what had changed? It was because of Raven. He was going absolutely mad, he was sure of it. His face was red with embarrassment, and it wasn't long before he was upon his bedroom door. He nearly ran inside and closed the door. He wandered over to his bed and he let his body go, falling face first onto a pillow.

He felt dumb. More dumb than he has ever felt, and that was saying something. He needed to either tell her, or get over it, but neither were that simple. The last time he had a crush he was just as crazy, just as sloppy, and just as goofy. But it was so different now. Raven had been his friend for so long, would she ever even look at him the same if he said something?

He was, different after all. He was green, and short, and goofy. And she probably viewed Beast Boy as highly immature. He had seen who she enjoyed spending time with. He had seen who she held affection for, and he was nothing like them. They were mysterious, like her, and they actually held similar interests with her. Raven enjoyed reading, enjoyed learning, while Beast Boy enjoyed video-games and pranks. Did they even have one thing in common, besides being a Titan?

Reaching around Beast Boy grabbed another pillow and pulled it over the back of his head. He would just lay there forever; he didn't want to see the light of day ever again. Closing his eyes he let out a long sigh.

Then he heard some small taps on his door. Great, his new life decision had quickly come to a halt. He cursed under his breath and sat up. The pillow fell to the floor, and getting up he nearly tripped over it. After his graceful save by flailing around and grabbing the edge of his desk, he resumed walking over to the door and opened it up. It was then that he came face to face with the last person he wanted to see.

It was her. The bearer of his heart. The beautiful and majestic woman that he had acted so foolish in front of. "Uh, hey Raven!" Beast Boy squeaked. "_Okay, this is no time to be an idiot. Just. Act. Cool. No problem, right?_" he thought.

"Beast Boy, why did you leave so fast?" Raven said softly. He was used to her saying everything in monotone, but right now he could hear the worry in her voice.

"Like I said, I'm just tired." He replied. His eyes locked with hers for only a moment, until he looked away in total embarrassment.

Raven shook her head, "I sense things Beast Boy, you know that." She folded her arms and Beast Boy felt as if she was looking right through him, "I can tell when something is wrong."

The green boy became ten times more nervous. He hated that she could sense his emotions. What if she had known all this time how he felt? What if she knew and she doesn't feel the same? What if that's why she hasn't said anything about what she sensed? As Beast Boy's mind exploded with 'what ifs?' he felt himself begin to sweat.

And so he laughed his normal goofy laugh, "I'm fine, I swear. I'll be okay, trust me!"

But Raven shook her head and moved past him into his room, a decision she soon regretted. He watched her look around his room in obvious disgust.

"Your room looks worse than the refrigerator does." Raven states, and Beast Boy couldn't help out another laugh.

"Heh, at least my room has got green mold instead of blue mold, right?"

"You're the green mold, Beast Boy."

This time he let out a nervous laugh. Green mold, is that what she thinks of him? The amazing Raven and her friend. The Green Mold…He tries not to seem hurt by her joke. He wanders over to his bed and sits down, looking over at a pile of dirty clothes he wishes wasn't there. Raven follows suit and sits down next to him, scrunching up her nose at a smell her nostrils suddenly catch.

But she doesn't say anything about the smell. Instead she forces herself to forget the odor. She looks over at Beast Boy with a small smile.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" she says softly. The dark girl looks away after she speaks, and her eyes seem to wander around the room awaiting his reply.

Beast Boy couldn't help but over at her and his heart begins to pound. The quiet is unbearable to him. He wants to shout to the heavens, he wants to open up to her about everything. How beautiful – how perfect he thinks she is. But his nervousness keeps him from revealing those thoughts. He's terrified, and the last thing he needs is rejection. He does not do well with rejection.

"I know, Rae," he says after a few seconds, "it's just not important. I'll be okay, seriously." Raven looks back over to him and nods, respecting his decision. After all, she knows what it's like to be uncomfortable opening up to, well anyone.

"Alright, but I'm here if you need to talk. About _anything_." And she emphasizes the 'anything', making Beast Boy's heart pound. What does she know that he isn't telling her? After all, she might even have some kind of hidden mind-reading powers, and knows exactly what he is thinking. What if she's _always_ known?

He panics, but only on the inside. Somehow he manages to remain calm, "Thanks, I'll try to remember that."

Raven lets out another small smile. Why did Raven's smile have to be so gorgeous? Why was Raven so cute? She glides over to the door and opens it. Beast Boy watches her intently as she moves through the open door.

And then the green boy stands to watch her walk off. Turning her head he notices that her eyes now look terribly sad, but for a reason Beast Boy does not understand.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" she says, and Beast Boy begins to question himself, "_Maybe now is the perfect time to tell her everything. I should just do it now and get it over with."_

Raven waits patiently for Beast Boy to answer her, and he becomes increasingly more nervous as he thoughts burst inside of him,_ "Maybe she'll feel the same? …Maybe she digs green guys? Just do it. Say something. Say it… DUDE!"_

"I'm sure, Rae." And he smiles, ignoring the expression on her face.

Raven shrugs and the door closes behind her. And Beast Boy quickly jumps back onto his bed. "_You idiot! Why didn't you say it? Gah!_"He grabs the pillow and shoves his face into it. He has never felt so full of regret in his entire life. He had a great chance to tell her. They were alone, and Raven wanted him to talk – something she doesn't often consent to.

He closes his eyes and lets out a loud grumble. Rolling over to lay on his stomach, he scrunches up into a fetal position, and turns his entire body into a cat. He always felt better when he changed into an animal, and he definitely needed something to make him feel better. He nearly forces himself into sleep, dreaming of how everything should have played out. How he would say the perfect thing, and how her face would light about and maybe they'd even share a kiss or something…He sighed to himself, wishing that it were only that easy.

A sudden siren and the flash of a red light began to go off in the Tower. He jumped awake and without a second thought he dashed out of his room and down the hall. He surprised himself how easy it was to get up that time. Usually he was sluggish getting up. It didn't matter because he didn't need to dwell on those thoughts anyway.

Now entering her room, Raven shut the door and levitated over to her bed. Sitting down on the very edge she was incredibly angry at herself for not speaking up. She was truly worried about Beast Boy. He had been acting strange for quite a while, and she sensed a different kind of emotion emitting from him than usual. Not since Ter-…no, she forced herself to change the subject. She was not about to talk about…_her_.

Her legs crossed and she closed her eyes. Meditation will make her stop worrying, she needed to stop worrying. She feared she knew why Beast Boy had begun to behave this way…

And then the alarm went off in her room as well. Her thoughts stopped suddenly and she levitated over to the door. Using her powers, a black aura came over the door and she moved through it, flying quickly down the hall.

Her thoughts returned to Beast Boy as she neared the common room, where the other Titans were located. All she had wanted to do was to talk to him…to tell him. He needed to know.

Raven was this creepy girl interested in weird things. And Beast Boy was this great guy who was kind and sweet and always giving her attention. He was perfect in every way, save for his kindergarten-style jokes. How could he possibly feel that way about her? She knew he liked someone, she could sense it…

She would try to talk to him again tonight.


End file.
